Many people are emotionally disturbed when they do not get what they want in life. We are so used to get our own way and if thwarted, we throw up a tantrum, with the dire consequence that we believe we must have what we desire, otherwise…..well, we acquire low self esteem.

This malady or disease is further enhanced by negative emotions. As certain events do not pan out the way we desired, we become anxious and irresponsible.

When irrational and inflexible demands are not met and wants or must have are not fulfilled, then, we help spread the virus of low self esteem.

Blame sets in and we go inwards; we become introverts. We blast our past errors and everything else: Our parents; our upbringing; our  work situation; our friends and relationships, etc.

Our thinking is blurred and irrational. As an example, constant bullying can lead to low self esteem. Perhaps, past  events are now resurfacing and suddenly it may dawn on you that the reason you are not successful at a particular task, is because you have kept negative thoughts alive in your head.

The way forward to this vicious circle of negative emotions is to become responsible in your thinking. Negative events of the past must be banished.

You must concentrate on current events at hand and future events. One way in your approach, is to harbour responsible thoughts. Remember the quality of your Thoughts determine your Attitude.

You are solely responsible for the way that you think, feel and act. Blaming is not going to fix things.  You have to take responsibility for your actions and your  thoughts, because, if you don’t, then you become dependent on others to help you out.

Being irresponsible means that you are at the mercy of others. You become a victim and the whole story of your life revolves about your past negative events and how you have been unfairly treated.

It is interesting to note that irresponsible thinking can lead easily to poisonous thinking. You have probably heard it before:

• YOU ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING

What happens is that once this remark hits your irresponsible thinking, you immediately revert to past events. You analyse your whole life and try to feed those negative vibes. In no time, you rate yourself a failure and you see yourself as worthless.

The key here is to deny irresponsible thinking by reacting to it. Do not jump to conclusions. Do not rate yourself and consider yourself to be at the present time, a worthwhile individual. What is past is past and there is nothing you can do about it. Once you start accepting yourself as a worthwhile person, then, you accept responsibility.

Another way to look at poisonous or irresponsible thinking is as follows: Things are not always black or white in life. Your past may have been black or bad but that does not make you a bad person now. You may have erred in the past, but so what ! Nobody is perfect. Accepting that there are different shades of grey can make you more responsible.

Admit that you have a problem and accept yourself for having it is a healthy attitude to take.

Often times people will reason this way: If I acknowledge that I have a problem (like alcohol or drug addiction), this may prove that I am a worthless individual, weak and inadequate in the eyes of my peers, friends or family.

It is much easier to deny that I have a problem and it is much easier to blame my family, friends or peers than to accept that I have a problem.

By admitting that you have a problem, you accept to act responsibly and it is much easier to cope.

P.S. "The HAPPINESS of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.... The Pursuit of Happiness is the chase of a lifetime and this can be achieved if your thoughts are focused on self respect and SELF ESTEEM."